Introducing Treading Tuesdays!

A time for us to hang in the ocean together.

When I relaunched this newsletter last week, I mentioned how I’d be expanding the scope beyond only writing related to suicidal ideation. Even as I do, though, I still want to keep a dedicated corner for those of us who aren’t always very attached to being alive to connect—specifically over things that can give us hope and keep us treading. So this week, I’m kicking off Treading Tuesdays, a regular time for us to chat about the flotation devices that are getting us through.

For those who aren’t familiar with what I mean by “flotation devices”, here’s an (abridged) excerpt from the ol’ essay where I compare living with suicidal ideation to treading in the ocean:

I want to keep my head above water. But will is never enough, and so I have learned to surround myself with ways to stay afloat.

Some are like passing driftwood: Living to see the series finale of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Finishing that book that’s been taking up brain real estate for years. The prospect that maybe tonight will be the night I meet someone halfway decent on Tinder. They’re shallow motivators, hardly anchors to life, but sometimes you just need something that will get you through the month. Or the week. Or the night.

Others — medication, my crisis safety plan. My cats who depend on me. The awful thought of transferring my suffering to my loved ones — are more sturdy. These are the life preservers.

I’ve found that one of the most helpful things you can do for chronic suicidality is curate your collection of flotation devices. If mental health care can only do so much to reduce our feelings of suicidality and equip us with the tools we need to tread water, then it’s crucial to nourish a life full of things we want to stay afloat for.

Every other Tuesday, Treading Tuesdays will be a space for us to share the things that are helping us stay afloat. It could be something as small as finishing the book you’re or as significant as your crisis safety plan. Pieces of driftwood, life preservers, fun noodles…they’re all worth sharing. The point is to remind ourselves of the things that keep us going, gather ideas from one another, and maybe even have one more thing to look forward to when the future feels bleak.

(Fun fact: Treading Tuesdays was almost Floatie Fridays. But honestly? Tuesdays are my least favorite day of the week and I thought it’d be nice to throw a fun noodle at them.)

I hope you’ll join me in the comments! If you do, keep in mind two golden rules:

• This is a safe space to talk about SI and no one should feel pressured to keep it ~positive~. For safety reasons, however, please try your best to stay on the topic of how you’re coping and avoid detailed descriptions of suicidal feelings.

• When replying to others (encouraged!), refrain from giving advice or recommendations to others unless specifically asked for.

So, without further ado…what’s keeping you alive this week?

Starting next Treading Tuesday, I’ll use each kickoff post to share my own floaty of the week (FOTW??? Can we make it happen????), as well as prompts for brainstorming new ways to stay afloat. Because hey, you can never have enough, right?

This week, I’ll see you in the comments.