My clients. I'm a therapist who struggles with SI but I'm trying to actually practice the things that I tell them. It sounds corny, but they motivate me more than I motivate them sometimes.
I've been in a really scary place & was combing my brain for flotation devices (I was calling them reasons to stay/bucket list items) - and I feel dumb, but the only thing I could think of was linen sheets. I'm a really hot sleeper & have nightmares almost every night & I can't really afford them, but Brooklinen was having a hell of a sale & I have a credit card, so crispy white linens are on their way to me
this is one of mine, too! sometimes i have to drag myself kicking and screaming to change my sheets when i'm In A Place, but once i do it's so weirdly restorative
Been really struggling to do the things that normally bring me happiness or at least keep me neutral, but keeping the bird baths cleaned and filled for all the neighborhood birds every day feels nice and I enjoy gently chastising them for consistently pooping in there the second I leave. They apparently "can't control" when or where they poop but I've been telling myself it's because I've created a safe pooping environment for them. And if I can do that? Well. At least that's something.
Btw, I am having a very ROUGH brain day (Tuesday truly do suck) and this little treading water comment section has really taken the edge off so THANK YOU.
After moving to my new place i didn't have much money left for a good and comfortable bed/mattress so i bought the cheapest available. Today after 6 years i finally bought myself a new one and i'm excited to sleep in it and wake up tomorrow without my back hurting
For me, I have found that adequate and good sleep is paramount to my mental health. I hope the change provides that to you as well. Sending the good vibes your way. 🤗
i hear this so often from parents who deal with SI and i am always in awe of the herculean effort it must take to be responsible for a whole other life on top of it all 🖤 he's lucky to have you
Most of the time, his smile and affection are more than enough to keep me at a place where I'm just dipping my toes in. Which is a nice change, and he's able to help me maintain it. There are those moments of frustration (potty training at the moment), but the unending love and looks of admiration he provides are more than enough to quell the darkest thoughts.
On the contrary, I am lucky to have him. And I acknowledge that on a daily basis to both him and myself.
It's been a rough time (I had a bunch of plans for 2023...and then got laid off 10 days into the year and haven't had much of any luck in the 6 months since then). Anyway, these days I basically have the constant refrain of "I barely wanna be alive" ringing in my head. Maybe a weird flotation device, but I've been taking an adversarial approach to it. Like, every little thing, even just plain breathing, has felt like responding "Hey, fuck you" to that voice. I don't know, just the basic concept of fighting for it, whatever "it" is.
More direct flotation devices: having media to look forward to (Spider-verse, Past Lives, that new Wes Anderson movie).
Jun 13, 2023·edited Jun 14, 2023Liked by Anna Borges
Honestly, leaning into my special interests helps a lot. Currently, they are the anime "Mob Psycho 100" and k-pop. I'm trying to surround myself with reminders about them. My k-pop concert in July (TWICE!!) is one of the things keeping me going.
I also have my good friend's wedding on my birthday in November. I'm also very grateful for the time I spend laughing with my sibling.
This is mine as well! I'm a care-giver who has the summers off and losing both the rigor of a schedule and the constant need from another leaves me struggling with SI.
So this year I told myself "This summer we will hide inside Tears of the Kingdom." And I don't even have a Switch (yet).
I’ve been trying to figure out how to get someone to pay me to go in an MRI while I’m playing Zelda to figure out wtf is going on in my brain when I play because it calms me down so fast when I’m super anxious.
Jun 13, 2023·edited Jun 13, 2023Liked by Anna Borges
My niece (who, along with her brother, will be four tomorrow) told me that she misses me when I'm "away," which is really when I'm curled up in bed because the world and being around family (or anyone) is too much, and I told her I was sorry and that I always come back after being away. So I guess now I gotta make sure I always come back. I can't disappoint that cutie.
While dealing with a never-ending cavalcade of unfortunate personal developments, I decided to take advantage of the fact that a whole bunch of free time opened up and signed up for improv classes. I figured it would at least get me out of the house. To my surprise, it's been great, there's something uplifting about finding a bunch of other funny people and learning to do something you've always wanted to do but never had the nerve before.
I'm counting down the days until I travel overseas for the first time in my life next Thursday. I'm going to London, and I cannot wait on a day when I'm struggling.
The seas have been especially stormy lately, but today I'm hanging on to make some baked scallops with breadcrumbs and parmesan and a boatload of butter tomorrow 😋
What is keeping me alive this week? Hmm... I've committed myself to attend a NaNoWriMo LGBTQ+ meetup/write-in on Zoom this Thursday afternoon. (I consider my sexual orientation to be biromantic greysexual, but since I am a practicing Catholic who strives to take my faith seriously, I abstain from sex and romance.) Thursday evening is my local writing critique group meeting (I'm writing an alternate history novel). Friday at noon I have therapy: I trust my therapist and feel comfortable with her. Then I read at my parish's Friday evening Mass. There are two other writing group meetings that I attend on Discord: one meets Saturday at noon and the other meets on Monday evening. My Sunday Mass obligation is important to me: I think I'll probably go to Mass on Saturday evening, since I dislike getting up before 9 AM on weekends and it usually takes me a couple of hours to get ready to go out. My mother is 83, completely bedbound, and has dementia. I don't enjoy changing her diapers and cleaning her up, but she needs me. Finally, I just bought a bunch of free ebooks. I want to read them!
Inspired by the watertok scene (???) I now make my own iced lattes at home, several times a day, but I make it multi-step because I deserve it! A shot espresso, a some pre-made super sweet caramel cappuccino that comes in a bottle, oat milk, chocolate oat milk. I pour it over ice in my Yeti cup and sip sip sip while walking outside in the sun. I'm on sick leave and the days are long... :)
My clients. I'm a therapist who struggles with SI but I'm trying to actually practice the things that I tell them. It sounds corny, but they motivate me more than I motivate them sometimes.
not corny at all!! i bet they would be so honored if they knew too
I am also a therapist dealing with SI and it makes me feel better to see someone else feeling the same way
I've been in a really scary place & was combing my brain for flotation devices (I was calling them reasons to stay/bucket list items) - and I feel dumb, but the only thing I could think of was linen sheets. I'm a really hot sleeper & have nightmares almost every night & I can't really afford them, but Brooklinen was having a hell of a sale & I have a credit card, so crispy white linens are on their way to me
this is one of mine, too! sometimes i have to drag myself kicking and screaming to change my sheets when i'm In A Place, but once i do it's so weirdly restorative
i would say the cold la Croix's in my fridge are the little pushes in my day that also keep me somewhat hydrated on bad days
the somewhat hydrating magic of seltzer >>>>>>>>
i wish i could say the same about the diet coke i keep stocked LOL
Been really struggling to do the things that normally bring me happiness or at least keep me neutral, but keeping the bird baths cleaned and filled for all the neighborhood birds every day feels nice and I enjoy gently chastising them for consistently pooping in there the second I leave. They apparently "can't control" when or where they poop but I've been telling myself it's because I've created a safe pooping environment for them. And if I can do that? Well. At least that's something.
I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS
Btw, I am having a very ROUGH brain day (Tuesday truly do suck) and this little treading water comment section has really taken the edge off so THANK YOU.
After moving to my new place i didn't have much money left for a good and comfortable bed/mattress so i bought the cheapest available. Today after 6 years i finally bought myself a new one and i'm excited to sleep in it and wake up tomorrow without my back hurting
For me, I have found that adequate and good sleep is paramount to my mental health. I hope the change provides that to you as well. Sending the good vibes your way. 🤗
My 3.5 year old son. I now have no choice other than to keep my head above water. Luckily, he's an amazing little guy.
i hear this so often from parents who deal with SI and i am always in awe of the herculean effort it must take to be responsible for a whole other life on top of it all 🖤 he's lucky to have you
Most of the time, his smile and affection are more than enough to keep me at a place where I'm just dipping my toes in. Which is a nice change, and he's able to help me maintain it. There are those moments of frustration (potty training at the moment), but the unending love and looks of admiration he provides are more than enough to quell the darkest thoughts.
On the contrary, I am lucky to have him. And I acknowledge that on a daily basis to both him and myself.
It's been a rough time (I had a bunch of plans for 2023...and then got laid off 10 days into the year and haven't had much of any luck in the 6 months since then). Anyway, these days I basically have the constant refrain of "I barely wanna be alive" ringing in my head. Maybe a weird flotation device, but I've been taking an adversarial approach to it. Like, every little thing, even just plain breathing, has felt like responding "Hey, fuck you" to that voice. I don't know, just the basic concept of fighting for it, whatever "it" is.
More direct flotation devices: having media to look forward to (Spider-verse, Past Lives, that new Wes Anderson movie).
alive by force of spite is TRIED AND TRUE, i love this
Hell yeah, fuck that noise - you have my sword across the void
Honestly, leaning into my special interests helps a lot. Currently, they are the anime "Mob Psycho 100" and k-pop. I'm trying to surround myself with reminders about them. My k-pop concert in July (TWICE!!) is one of the things keeping me going.
I also have my good friend's wedding on my birthday in November. I'm also very grateful for the time I spend laughing with my sibling.
K-pop and anime, a girl after my own heart! Awww I wish I could see Twice. They never come to the Midwest though.
This is my first time seeing them! I bought the new lightstick for the concert and it is so fun to play with! Highly recommend!
Make sure to look up how to sync the infinity bong with the concert. It'll change color and flash based on the theme with other Onces!
The new Zelda game is keeping me alive rn. I'm completely addicted.
S A M E like how am i gonna die when i still have a million people to help out via side quests
and i guess the world to save or whatever
This is mine as well! I'm a care-giver who has the summers off and losing both the rigor of a schedule and the constant need from another leaves me struggling with SI.
So this year I told myself "This summer we will hide inside Tears of the Kingdom." And I don't even have a Switch (yet).
I’ve been trying to figure out how to get someone to pay me to go in an MRI while I’m playing Zelda to figure out wtf is going on in my brain when I play because it calms me down so fast when I’m super anxious.
My niece (who, along with her brother, will be four tomorrow) told me that she misses me when I'm "away," which is really when I'm curled up in bed because the world and being around family (or anyone) is too much, and I told her I was sorry and that I always come back after being away. So I guess now I gotta make sure I always come back. I can't disappoint that cutie.
🥹🥹🥹🥹 happy (early) birthday to them both!!
While dealing with a never-ending cavalcade of unfortunate personal developments, I decided to take advantage of the fact that a whole bunch of free time opened up and signed up for improv classes. I figured it would at least get me out of the house. To my surprise, it's been great, there's something uplifting about finding a bunch of other funny people and learning to do something you've always wanted to do but never had the nerve before.
ahhh that's so cool, big congrats for getting up the nerve
What I'm holding onto right now after a hard day at work is that I'm going to see friends this evening.
i hope you guys have an amazing time 🖤
I'm counting down the days until I travel overseas for the first time in my life next Thursday. I'm going to London, and I cannot wait on a day when I'm struggling.
The seas have been especially stormy lately, but today I'm hanging on to make some baked scallops with breadcrumbs and parmesan and a boatload of butter tomorrow 😋
What is keeping me alive this week? Hmm... I've committed myself to attend a NaNoWriMo LGBTQ+ meetup/write-in on Zoom this Thursday afternoon. (I consider my sexual orientation to be biromantic greysexual, but since I am a practicing Catholic who strives to take my faith seriously, I abstain from sex and romance.) Thursday evening is my local writing critique group meeting (I'm writing an alternate history novel). Friday at noon I have therapy: I trust my therapist and feel comfortable with her. Then I read at my parish's Friday evening Mass. There are two other writing group meetings that I attend on Discord: one meets Saturday at noon and the other meets on Monday evening. My Sunday Mass obligation is important to me: I think I'll probably go to Mass on Saturday evening, since I dislike getting up before 9 AM on weekends and it usually takes me a couple of hours to get ready to go out. My mother is 83, completely bedbound, and has dementia. I don't enjoy changing her diapers and cleaning her up, but she needs me. Finally, I just bought a bunch of free ebooks. I want to read them!
Inspired by the watertok scene (???) I now make my own iced lattes at home, several times a day, but I make it multi-step because I deserve it! A shot espresso, a some pre-made super sweet caramel cappuccino that comes in a bottle, oat milk, chocolate oat milk. I pour it over ice in my Yeti cup and sip sip sip while walking outside in the sun. I'm on sick leave and the days are long... :)